Stop Apologizing!

I have been making a conscious effort to stop apologizing every time I have a question or need help. It's a bad habit I've had for as long as I can remember.

I always assumed that my questions or requests for help reflected incompetence.

It's wasn't "They might think I'm an idiot"; it was "They'll figure out I'm an idiot." I suppose past experiences influenced this self-image. But good God, I'm almost forty-seven years old. It's time to grow out of this.

I have been fighting this assumption by reminding myself that I'm an intelligent person, and that does not mean I need to be an expert at every new experience. If I have questions or need help, it is reasonable that I do. If someone interprets those questions as incompetence, they are wrong. I am also probably wrong in my assumptions about others.

I often find others who have similar questions, and that brings me some comfort. It's time to stop needing comfort for doing something reasonable.

One problem with apologizing is that it opens the door for others to question you, which is what you're trying to avoid in the first place. If you think you need to apologize, they think you must not have much confidence in yourself.

Appearing confident comes from being confident. Confidence doesn't have to be bravado. It is simply recognizing your abilities and giving yourself credit for what you're capable of doing. You don't have to draw attention to self-assurance. It is a byproduct of knowing how capable you are. It is taking control of your own opinion of yourself rather than trying to influence others' opinions, which are out of your control.

I can often solve problems and find answers on my own. If I have tried and can't do it alone, I use the resources I have, which is often other people. I'm done apologizing for that. I wouldn't expect an apology from anyone asking me for help. Why would I assume others require one from me?

I will always be polite and grateful, but I won't apologize.

Neither should you.