Punished for Being Sick

I am not one to tell parents how to raise their kids. As a teacher, however, I would urge parents not to punish their children blindly on grades. It happens too often and adds to the shame and dread the child already feels from the grades themselves.

Grades on completed work are intended to reflect mastery level. They are an ongoing diagnosis. Just like doctors diagnose illness so that they can prescribe solutions, teachers diagnose mastery and help students fill in the gaps. Should you be punished for being diagnosed with an illness? Kids should be encouraged to grow and solve problems instead of being made to feel bad about not mastering something right away.

If the grades are clearly a result of your kid not doing any work, then that should be what any punishment is tied to. If it's for trying and getting a D or an F, help and encourage them. Show your C student that a C reflects an acceptable, average mastery level for their age. It means they're meeting expectations. That is not a bad thing. If you know they're capable of more, help them get there. A's aren't supposed to be easy.

I believe that grace should be the norm when dealing with children. That doesn't mean children should never be punished or that good parents are never angry. But society's response to grades has been warped into something backwards. They should be tools for proper prescriptions, not a metric for how harsh the patient's punishment is.